There I was, a woman in her 30s, mixing herbal concoctions like a granny, chewing on fennel seeds, and clutching a lemon as if my life depended on it. My head was pounding, my stomach churning, and my gut seemed to be cursing me in every language it knew.
Was it really necessary to devour fried chicken right after savoring a creamy bowl of pasta? And as if that weren’t enough, I had followed it up with a decadent serving of gajar halwa, all while stealing bites of Hyderabadi biryani from my mom’s plate. What, in the name of international gluttony, was this? Was I preparing for the end of the world? Was there an alien invasion imminent, threatening to confiscate every edible thing on Earth?
Why, Faiqa, why did you have to do that?
Why do I knowingly walk into discomfort?
Why do I give in to fleeting indulgence when it comes at the cost of my peace?
Why do I trade lasting well-being for a moment of pleasure?
The answer came in whispers: dopamineee.
That fleeting high—the brain’s way of rewarding us. It’s what I seem to chase when I reach for food at the wrong hour, fully aware I’ll regret it. But why am I so drawn to it? Is it something my routine lacks, leaving me to look for shortcuts to joy?
So, as I often do, I turned to research. I needed to make sense of this pattern, this tug-of-war between the part of me that knows better and the part that gives in.
///The Brain’s Dilemma
What I learned is that this isn’t just my struggle—it’s a universal human experience. Our brains are divided in their loyalties: one part (the limbic system) is impulsive and craves immediate rewards, while the other (the prefrontal cortex) advocates for long-term planning and self-control. Late-night snacks, online scrolling, and countless other behaviors are quick fixes for pleasure, feeding the limbic system’s hunger.When our daily lives lack fulfillment—whether it’s joy, rest, or emotional connection—the limbic system fights harder for those fleeting rewards. It doesn’t care about the stomachaches, guilt, or sleepless nights that follow. It’s too busy chasing the now.
// What Can We Do?
But we’re not powerless. This battle doesn’t have to end with the impulsive part of the brain always winning. We can tilt the balance.
Start Small: Sometimes, the smallest actions create the biggest shifts. Sipping water instead of diving into a snack or pausing for just a moment to reflect on what you’re feeling can help break the cycle.
Be Mindful: Learning to pause and check in with yourself is transformative. Ask: “What do I truly need right now?” Often, it’s not the craving but comfort, rest, or a sense of control.-
Delay, Don’t Deny: Try waiting just 10 minutes before acting on an impulse. You’ll be surprised how often the urgency fades, leaving you with clarity.
Add Joy to Your Routine: A fulfilling day makes it easier to resist empty indulgences. Hobbies, movement, even a few minutes spent doing something you love can fill the void that quick pleasures leave behind.
Rest Matters: A tired brain is an impulsive brain. Prioritize sleep—it’s the foundation for better decisions and a kinder relationship with yourself.
// It's Human to Struggle
At its heart, this is a deeply human struggle. We’re wired to want pleasure, to avoid discomfort, to take the easy road. And sometimes, we give in. But every time we choose balance, every time we pause and reflect, we strengthen the part of us that seeks calm over chaos.
This isn’t about perfection; it’s about learning and forgiving ourselves along the way. Each small act of mindfulness is a step forward, a chance to rewrite the story. Maybe that’s why I keep asking myself “Why?”—because the answer isn’t a punishment, it’s a way out.
If you’ve ever asked yourself the same question, know this: you’re not alone. This is our shared experience, the quiet work of becoming better, one choice at a time.
// Faiqa Ali Chughtai
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