Friendships that feel like home

by Katie Watson Grant

Friendships are pillars of support, laughter, and memories shared in a life that is ever-evolving.

But what happens when those friends, the ones who feel like family, suddenly find themselves continents apart? Long-distance friendships, while filled with moments of joy and connection, also come with their own set of trials and tribulations.

As I pedal my bike home through the pretty streets of my neighbourhood after sharing some sundowners with local, and lovely, friends, I feel a pang of longing for my closest friends, now living oceans away (Zurich and Zimbabwe, if you were wondering, so not terrible holiday locations!).  Whilst I am lucky enough to have a large friendship group here, there's an ache for the companionship of someone who knows me inside out, who can sense my moods with just a glance.

Over the past fifteen years, the bonds with my closest friends have weathered many storms. We've celebrated wins, supported each other through heartaches, and navigated life together.  But in recent years, two of my closest confidantes embarked on new adventures in other countries, leaving a void that no amount of Zoom calls can fully fill.

The negatives of long-distance friendships are undeniable. There's the heartache of missing out on spontaneous gatherings  - anyone who knows me, knows my love of a last minute dinner party or garden pool day! The bittersweet feeling of not being there to witness each other's milestones in person, and the sense of helplessness when a friend faces a challenge and you can't offer a comforting hug (one has just spent 10 days in hospital with her baby and it’s heart-breaking feeling so far away). Yet, amidst these challenges, there are also unexpected silver linings.

Despite the physical distance, our bond remains unbreakable. Technology bridges the gap, allowing us to share news (or when the day has been too busy, memes and funny videos!) by WhatsApp or on Zoom.  Our friendship has evolved, deepening in ways we never anticipated. We've learned to cherish the moments we have together in person and to be grateful for the  deep connection that distance can't diminish.

And while holidays may now involve coordinating time zones, flight distances and travel plans, they've also become cherished opportunities for reunions and creating new memories with our growing families.  As an expat, I've come to realise that friendships take on a different meaning. These friends, my chosen family, have become my sisters, filling the void of not having a sister of my own.

They know the quirks of my personality, my dreams, and the depths of my struggles. They're the ones who can tell when my silence speaks volumes, who offer a listening ear without judgment, and who celebrate my victories as if they were their own. In a world where distance often separates us, these friendships serve as anchors, reminding us that no matter where life takes us, we're never truly alone.

I am fortunate to still have the third of my 3 closest friends here. Her and her husband are family too, Godparents to my child and me to theirs.  They are the last monumental piece of my life in the city I have called home for nearly 2 decades. Her presence is a comfort, a reminder of the shared history and countless adventures we've all embarked upon together. There's an undeniable void left by the absence of our other friends. It's a bittersweet reminder that while our bond remains unbreakable, our circle feels incomplete without them. If they were to leave, we may consider it a potential catalyst for our own departure, underlining how deep friendships are to the places we call home.

So, here's to the friends who know us inside out, who share in our joys and sorrows, and who make every journey, whether across oceans or just around the corner, feel like coming home.