Every January, my friends’ husband goes on an absolute fitness mission. New year, new him. He does, wait for it; Dry January, Veganuary, no social media, no caffeine, no sugar.
He combines this with an intense exercise regime which he sticks to rigidly.
Every January, my friends’ husband is very sad.
Now, there’s a part of me which deeply admires his ability to stick to the punishing rules he imposes on himself. I would stand literally no chance. But I always just have this niggling question in the back of my mind…
…Why?
Why is he subjecting himself to it? What is he (and everybody who embarks on these January missions) trying to prove? And to whom?
What if he gets run over by a bus on the 1st of February?
It all just sounds a bit like self-flagellation to me. January is hard enough isn’t it? We’re all skint, we’re all partied out and knackered, we’re all back at work with a vengeance. The pressure to hit the ground running is all around us; do we also need to pile extra pressure on ourselves?
I mean; I get it. We all feel in desperate need of a reset and a bit of a revamp in January after the excesses of the festive period. We eat so many pigs-in-blankets we feel we are starting to resemble a pig in a blanket. But instead of the self-flagellation, how can we set ourselves realistic fitness goals for the new year ahead? Ones which we’ll still be adhering to in a few months time ideally.
As a personal trainer and Pilates instructor, I’ve been training clients for almost two decades now. Along the way I’ve made some observations about the habits of healthier people, and of people who manage to keep those habits going into the second month of the year and beyond.
Here are my five top tips for setting realistic fitness goals and sticking to them.
Goals must be meaningful
If you do one thing before you set out on a January fitness journey; ask yourself, really, why you are doing this. Research shows that aesthetic motivation, ie- I want to look like this, I want to weigh this amount, I want to fit into this size etc, are not strong enough reasons to inspire the vast majority of exercisers to stick to their plan. In fact, aesthetically driven goals have been shown to increase the likelihood of disordered eating and obsessive compulsive behaviour around exercise. This can mean that in an attempt to improve our physical health, we actually do damage to our physical health.
Instead, if we look at the bigger picture when goalsetting we might find something much more meaningful to work towards.
As an example. I recently wrote about reducing my alcohol intake drastically. One of the reasons for wanting to do that was that I knew I was carrying probably an extra 3kg made up entirely of wine calories, and sitting stubbornly around my waist. The problem with using that as the motivator to cut down on the vino, is that in truth, it doesn’t really break my heart that I have that extra wine-induced tummy tyre.
However; knowing that drinking too much alcohol increases my risk of developing cancer and heart disease..? Well, as a single parent to three young boys who would be left to God and Good Neighbours without me; that made my goal meaningful and helped me stick to it far more than I would’ve done had it just been about being able to zip up my jeans.
Goals around our family, lifestyle, wellbeing and mental health are all not only valid but exceptionally important.
Goals must be attainable
Repeat after me: If my goal is to look like Demi Moore/J-Lo or Jennifer Aniston, I will fail. Sure, they might be the same age as you. But they also have an army of chefs, trainers and nannies meaning they can devote themselves to getting and keeping the ‘perfect’ body.
Similarly, if you work full time and have a busy lifestyle, training to do a marathon probably isn’t going to be do-able for you.
I want you to create micro-goals. Think of them as small steps towards a bigger goal. You may not even know what that end goal is yet and it may change over the course of the next few weeks.
Your first few goals should be pretty easy. I’m talking, a 9 out of 10 chance you’ll succeed at it. So if you’re currently racking up 8000 steps a day, you might set yourself the goal of 8500 every day in the first week. If you’re already going to the gym, you might set yourself a goal to try a new class this week.
If you make your goals attainable you will achieve them. If you achieve them you’ll feel proud of yourself. If you feel proud of yourself you’ll be a happier, more motivated version of who you were this time last week.
Buddy up
There is so much research out there which shows that being part of a pair, a group or a community makes adherence and longer term commitment to exercising so much more likely.
There are several reasons for this but from what I’ve observed over the years it comes down to two things: support and accountability.
Every January I do a fitness challenge called MED 30. It stand for Move Every Day for 30 minutes. Now this can be anything. I tend to mix it up big style. Bit of HIIT, bit of yoga, throw in some Pilates, some dog walks, lots of lifting weights, whatever I fancy and can fit in that day.
There’s no way I would stick to that alone. But there’s also no way I can find someone whose schedule is the same as mine to do it all with me! So instead, I recruited about ten friends through the power of social media and we created a little MED 30 messenger group. The support and encouragement I get from those girls really lifts me up on the days I’m lacking energy and although there’s no pressure from anyone, I find doing this as a team really helps me be accountable. I want to do it for them almost as much as for myself.
Exercise on set days throughout the month
This task is one I ask all my clients to do at the start of each month, as I know the benefits it has in terms of achieving those microgoals.
OK; I need you to go and grab your calendar. The one in your phone and also a physical calendar you can hang up in your hallway too.
Now, circle three days each week that you will exercise this month. If you can be specific enough to know the time, put that in there too. Next, set an alarm in your phone for each of those days.
Every time you tick off one of those days (and I expect there to be 12 ticks) I want you to draw yourself a nice big smiley face, sunshine flower, whatever floats your boat. I also want you to make a little note, again in your phone and on a piece of physical paper in a notebook or journal, of how you feel at the end of each of those days.
I don’t care how long you work out for, or what kind of exercise you do. In the words of that famous brand… Just Do It.
Reward yourself for your successes
I’m a big fan of being kind. I try to be good and decent and considerate of others’ feelings every day. When my kids excel at school or do something I know has been challenging for them, I treat them to a little something. I bet you’re the same aren’t you?
So can we maybe start to carry that kindness over to ourselves please?
Whatever goal, or micro-goal you’ve set yourself, it’s going to be a challenge to achieve it. So when you do; find some way to mark it. Whether it’s allowing yourself a dessert in the restaurant, whether it’s booking a massage or a facial; whether it’s having a weekend lie-in instead of cleaning the bathroom, we have to incentivise ourselves.
Choose something which will inspire you to keep going, and then when you’ve earned it; enjoy it without any guilt whatsoever, then approach that next goal with even more gusto.
// Sarah Lawton
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