The festive spirit starts creeping in for me mid November and by 1st December my excitement levels are similar to that of your average seven year old.
Halloween..? Not so much.
In fact I think it would be fair to say I’m the Bah Humbug of Halloween. The Spooky Grinch, if you will.
Why am I so anti the most spooktacular holiday of the year? Well; like a petulant child who isn’t allowed to go trick-or-treating, I’m going to blame my mother.
It just wasn’t really a thing when we were growing up. Because she wasn’t into it, that kind of rubbed off on me and my brother. I think it’s in the genes.
As a child I never remember my Mum (who incidentally is Mrs Christmas herself) making any effort for Halloween. I don’t feel hard done by either… truth be told if we hadn’t marked it at all I don’t think my brother or I would’ve noticed.
I do remember her begrudgingly taking us trick-or-treating once or twice, but my memories of that are that it was cold and dark and rainy and I just found the whole concept of being draped in a bin-liner fashioned as a cloak wearing a very uncomfortable fake nose and knocking on the doors of complete strangers asking them for sweets very strange and uncomfortable.
The couple of times I did go trick-or-treating; I also recall feeling very rude. It went against my manners and upbringing to knock on a strangers door and scream in their face ‘TRICK OR TREAT SMELL MY FEET!’ And even now I have to admit; I’m one of those people (because there are other Halloween Grinches you know) who has on several occasions turned off the lights and sat in the dark so the trick-or-treaters presume nobody is in and give up after one knock. Shameful I know.
For want of a better explanation; I just don’t get it.
I don’t like being scared, you see. I was never one of those kids who watched horror films at sleepovers and loved jumping out of my skin, screaming. Still now as an adult, I pride myself on having never seen ‘IT’ or ‘American Werewolf’ ‘Halloween’ or ‘Scream.’
I remember the girls at school talking about Ouija boards and summoning spirits most of the month of October, and me sitting there thinking ‘Why would you actively try to get spirits into your house? I would literally stick my head under the covers and hold my breath until I died.’
No. Thank. You.
My other main beef with Halloween is that as well as being scary, it just seems so inauthentic. If we’re going for an American word to suit this very American holiday; I’d call it phoney.
The thing is, it’s not actually as inauthentic as it feels and the history of Halloween is very real. It has its roots in the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain, a religious celebration to celebrate the end of the harvest. The spooky bit came in because they used to light bonfires to ward off ghosts, apparently.
I mean, that’s all well and good but it hardly warrants what Halloween has spiralled into today does it?
The aforementioned bin-liner costumes of our childhood have gone. As has the tradition of carving the turnip and adding a candle. It’s all pumpkins and expensive shop-bought elaborate costumes nowadays. And the make-up! It’s like professional prosthetics in some cases. Don’t get me wrong it looks impressive, but it also looks way too time consuming for my liking! The ever-present one-upmanship of social media means parents are pressured to spend money and time they don’t have on ensuring their kid is wearing a better costume than their mate.
While we’re on the subject of costumes, I just have to express my deep hatred for the concept of dressing up. Doesn’t matter whether it’s a sixties themed roller disco, a Hollywood movies themed birthday party, or a Halloween extravaganza; I just do not have the motivation, dedication or attention to detail required to excel at dress-up.
Every year my good friend Zoe throws a fabulous Halloween party and her insane attention to detail frankly blows my mind. She spends weeks planning the intricate details of how every room in her home will be decorated, while her daughters watch YouTube videos making sure their makeup rivals that of a blockbuster scarefest.
The decor is unbelievable, the spooky-themed food is delicious and instaperfect, and their costumes are works of art. No supermarket flammable tat here. Me and my kids walk in sheepishly but quietly defiant, usually just wearing black with potentially a hastily drawn on cat nose or ghoul face. Zoe loves us, but her disgust is palpable. She doesn’t understand why we don’t just love dressing up. It’s in her genes you see.
I think the thing that bothers me most about Halloween is that most intangible of things; how it feels.
Christmas gives me, and most people let’s admit, the warm and fuzzy feels. It really is a time of goodwill to all men (well, most men). It’s a time when we think about how to include our neighbours, invite friends and family into our homes, reach out and ask someone how their year has been.
Christmas has a deep-rooted connection to kindness and peace which goes way beyond it’s Christian history. Yes, it’s probably an even more meaningful holiday if you have faith and a religious connection to the holiday. But even if you don’t, Christmas tends to bring out the best in people doesn’t it? Of course it’s a bit stressful in the lead up, and whilst cooking a turkey and at least ten different vegetables, Christmas sweeps us up in it’s magic and makes us feel connected to those we love.
Halloween gives us none of those fuzzy feels does it? I guess it’s not designed too. So I’m afraid I’m standing resolutely firm on this one I’m afraid. I’m a pumpkin-free zone guys.
// Sarah Lawton
Comments