Loving Your Own Company: The Power of Being at Peace with Yourself

Many struggle with being alone in a world that constantly promotes socialising, relationships, and external validation. Some see solitude as loneliness, while others fear silence because it forces them to sit with their thoughts. But what if being alone wasn’t something to avoid but rather something to embrace?

Learning to love your company is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. It builds emotional resilience, self-awareness, confidence, and inner peace. True happiness doesn’t come from being surrounded by people all the time - it comes from being comfortable with who you are, even in moments of solitude.

I needed to be in relationships long enough to feel good, alive, and fulfilled. I believed happiness came from being with someone. But over time, I realised something important: if you’re not happy alone, no relationship will ever truly satisfy you.

From a life coaching perspective, self-love and self-sufficiency are the foundations of a healthy, fulfilling life. If you can enjoy time with yourself, you will:

• Make better decisions,

• Build more substantial and meaningful relationships,

• And find a more profound sense of purpose.

1.     What is The Turning Point? Learning to Enjoy Your Own Company

There was a moment when I decided to spend quality time with myself - not because I had no one to be with, but because I genuinely wanted to enjoy my presence.

Instead of filling my time with just anyone’s company, I asked myself:

“Would I rather be alone and happy or surrounded by people who don’t bring real value to my life?”

I started doing things on my own - going for coffee, dining alone, even going to the cinema. And that’s when it hit me: I was at peace with myself.

Life Coaching Insight:

Ask yourself:

Would I be happy to spend an entire week alone with no distractions - no phone, no social media, no external validation? Or would I feel lost?

If the thought of being alone makes you uncomfortable, that’s a sign that it’s time to start building a stronger relationship with yourself.

2.     Overcoming the Fear of Being Alone

Many people resist solitude because they associate it with loneliness. But being alone and being lonely are not the same thing.

A.   Loneliness is feeling disconnected from yourself and others. It’s a state of emotional emptiness.

B.    Solitude is being alone in a peaceful, fulfilling, and empowering way.

One experience that changed my perspective was seeing couples out together but completely disconnected - both on their phones, barely speaking. It made me realise that just because someone is physically present doesn’t mean they’re emotionally connected.

Lesson: How sad is it to be with someone but still feel invisible? Wouldn’t being alone and truly happy rather than in the wrong company be better?

Common Fears About Being Alone & How to Overcome Them

❌ “What if people judge me for being alone at a restaurant?”

✔️ No one cares as much as you think! Most people are too busy with their own lives to notice.

❌ “I feel awkward when I do things alone.”

✔️ That’s normal at first! The more you do it, the more confident and empowered you’ll feel.

❌ “I don’t know what to do with myself when alone.”

✔️ Start small—use solo time to explore your interests and reconnect with yourself.

3.     The Difference Between Solitude and Isolation

Loving your own company is about enjoying alone time, not shutting yourself off from the world. It’s essential to understand the difference:

✔️ solitude = A choice that brings peace, self-discovery, and fulfilment.

❌ isolation = A state of disconnection, often linked to emotional struggles.

Lesson: You need to understand an essential aspect of solitude. Solitude helps you recharge, but human connection is still meaningful. Loving yourself means finding a balance—enjoying time alone while surrounding yourself with meaningful relationships.

4.     Enjoying Solo Adventures & Creating Self-Love Rituals

Solo Activities I Love:

☕ Going to coffee shops - ordering my favourite drink and cake, reading a book, bringing my laptop to write design, or studying - feels like I’m in my little world.

✈️ Solo travel - My first solo trip was to Rome and Ragusa in Sicily in 2023. I had such a fantastic time! I woke up when I wanted, ate what I wanted, and explored at my own pace - no compromises, no stress. It was pure freedom. I loved it so much that I did it again in Cape Town in January 2024.

🎨 Engaging in creative hobbies - Spending time on personal projects, whether writing, photography, or anything that brings me joy.

Small Self-Love Rituals for Daily Life:

ü  Create a cosy morning or evening routine. Have a cup of tea, light a candle, and enjoy quiet time.

ü  Write in a journal. Reflect on your day, your thoughts, and what you’re grateful for.

ü  Listen to your favourite music. Dance, sing, or enjoy the moment.

ü  Spend time in nature. Go for a walk without distractions - just you and your thoughts.

5.     The Freedom of Not Begging for Attention

I noticed something interesting when I started loving my company: I no longer needed to chase people’s attention.

I stopped begging for time, messages, and fake friendships. If someone wanted to be in my life, that would be outstanding. If not, I was perfectly fine on my own.

Lesson: Real friendships and relationships are built on mutual effort, not dependency. If you have to chase people to be in your life, they’re not meant to be there.

6.     Final Encouragement: The Strongest People Master Solitude

 

The strongest people aren’t those who constantly surround themselves with others; they’re the ones who have mastered the art of enjoying their own company.

• What you focus on expands.

• What you seek, you will find.

• When you ask for truth, life will reveal it to you.

Call to Action: Try This Challenge

For the next 7 days, challenge yourself to do something alone and write down how you feel afterwards:

1. Day 1 – Go for coffee alone.

2. Day 2 – Take a walk or sit in nature.

3. Day 3 – Have a meal by yourself at a restaurant.

4. Day 4 – Watch a film alone at home or in the cinema.

5. Day 5 – Write in a journal about how you feel.

6. Day 6 – Try a new hobby or creative activity.

7. Day 7 – Reflect: How do I feel about being alone now?

You are your own longest relationship - make it a good one.

Once you master being alone, you’ll never feel lonely again!

// Stéphane NARCIS