Self-esteem is the foundation of a child’s resilience, confidence, and ability to navigate life’s challenges.
Sofia Stigka, a CDA-licensed psychologist at Thrive Wellbeing Centre, highlights that self-esteem begins forming remarkably early; by the age of five, children’s self-concept can be precise as that of adults. These early experiences, shaped by relationships and environment, lay the foundation for a lifetime of growth and self-worth.
"Self-esteem develops through the way children are treated and the messages they internalise about their value," Sofia explains. "A child who experiences empathy, understanding, and validation grows up believing in their ability to overcome challenges and reach their potential."
Today’s children face modern challenges that directly impact their self-esteem. Social media often sets unattainable standards, distorting self-perception and encouraging unrealistic comparisons. Academic pressures to excel often leave little room for children to embrace mistakes as learning opportunities, which are essential for personal growth and confidence. Adding to this complexity are peer dynamics, which significantly influence a child’s sense of belonging and self-worth, often amplifying feelings of inadequacy.
Even with these pressures, intentional guidance from carers and educators plays a crucial role in strengthening self-esteem and building a child’s confidence.
// Building Self-Esteem: Road to a Better Self
Nurturing a child’s self-esteem requires consistent and intentional actions that affirm their sense of value and potential."Self-esteem grows when children are given opportunities to feel capable, supported, and understood. It’s through consistent care and thoughtful guidance that they begin to believe in themselves," Sofia explains.
The following strategies, recommended by Sofia, offer practical steps toward building and strengthening a child’s self-esteem:
Encouraging Independence: Allowing children to make small, age-appropriate decisions helps them develop autonomy and trust in their own abilities. Simple choices, such as selecting what to wear or deciding on a snack, lay the foundation for confidence and self-reliance.
Validating Emotions: Listening empathetically to a child’s feelings and responding calmly sends the message that their emotions matter. "A calm voice and validating response can create the internal script of ‘What I feel matters,’ which is the cornerstone of strong self-esteem," Sofia explains.
Praising Effort Over Outcomes: Focusing on hard work and perseverance, rather than innate traits like intelligence, teaches children the value of effort."Praising children’s hard work gives them the stamina to face challenges, while focusing only on intelligence can lead to confusion in the face of difficulty," Sofia adds.
Involving Children in Decisions: Including children in meaningful choices reinforces their sense of responsibility and worth. Sofia notes, "When children feel their input is valued, it skyrockets their confidence and sense of being taken seriously."
Modelling Positive Behaviours: Children mirror the actions of adults around them. Demonstrating emotional regulation, self-compassion, and constructiveresponses to mistakes provides them with tools to approach life’s challenges positively.
Additional Strategies: Sofia also highlights the importance of maintaining a healthy lifestyle, practicing age-appropriate mindfulness, and taking breaks from the social media frenzy to avoid unhealthy comparisons. She notes, "Young people adopt behaviours they see, not just what they are told, so it’s vital for adults to model consistency between advice and actions.” Supported from the 2015 study from Dario Cvencek on “Implicit measures for preschool children confirm self-esteem's role in maintaining a balanced identity” where evidence shows that early self-esteem development is a factor in shaping a balanced identity and is validated through the use of Implicit Association Tests (IAT) as a reliable method to measure self-esteem in young children, (Cvencek, 2015).
Children with strong self-esteem grow into adults who approach challenges with confidence and accountability, accumulating a lifelong impact. They form healthier relationships, exhibit resilience, and contribute meaningfully to their communities."By nurturing self-esteem early, we’re giving children the tools to thrive not only in their youth but throughout their lives," Sofia concludes.
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