Things You Should Never Say to Your Gynaecologist (But Probably Have!)

Ah, the annual trip to the gynecologist—the most humbling 20 minutes of your life.

You’re perched on an exam table, wrapped in paper-thin dignity, and suddenly, you feel the need to say something. But as nerves take over, out come the most bizarre, unnecessary, and sometimes downright cringe-worthy comments.

Gynaecologists have heard it all, but here are a few things you might want to leave unsaid at your next visit.

1. “I Totally Shaved for You!”

Listen, your gyno is not grading you on personal grooming. Whether you show up waxed, shaved, or rocking a full ’70s revival, they do not care. They’re here for your health, not your aesthetics.

2. “Sorry, My Feet Are Gross.”

Your doctor spends their day looking at cervixes, not critiquing your pedicure (or lack thereof). Trust us, they’ve seen things far more intense than chipped nail polish and untrimmed toenails.

3. “Wow, That’s Cold!”

Yes, the speculum is chilly. Yes, they know. No, they’re not secretly storing them in an icebox just to mess with you.

4. “Is It Supposed to Smell Like That?”

Your gynaecologist is a professional—they’re not here to judge, and let’s be honest, they’ve smelled everything. If you have concerns, absolutely ask, but maybe frame it as a medical question rather than a surprise revelation.

5. “I Googled My Symptoms, and I Think I’m Dying.”

WebMD has a way of turning a mild irritation into a full-blown apocalyptic diagnosis. Your gyno will be happy to ease your worries, but maybe hold off on telling them you’re definitely convinced it’s something from a medical drama episode.

6. “Can You Just Check for Everything While You’re Down There?”

While your gynecologist is happy to address concerns, they’re not a car mechanic doing a routine inspection. If you have specific worries, speak up—but there’s no magic button that scans for everything in one go.

7. “You Probably Don’t Want to Hear This, But…”

Oh, but they do! No matter how embarrassing, weird, or awkward it seems, your doctor has definitely heard worse. Trust them—your strangest story is just another Tuesday for them.

8. “I Think My Vagina is Weird-Looking.”

Spoiler alert: Vaginas come in all shapes, sizes, and colours. Unless something is medically concerning, there is no “normal.” Your gyno isn’t there to critique—it’s all just anatomy to them!

9. “Are You Sure You Know What You’re Doing?”

If they weren’t sure, they wouldn’t be in the room with you. If you’re ever uncomfortable, asking for clarification is fine—but second-guessing their medical degree mid-exam? Maybe not the best move.

10. “Do You Think I’ll Ever Find Love?”

Your gynaecologist is many things—an expert in reproductive health, a professional at keeping a straight face—but a dating coach? Probably not. (Though, who knows, they may have some wisdom to share!)

Just Keep It Real

At the end of the day, your gynaecologist is there to help, not to judge. No question is too embarrassing when it comes to your health—so ask away!

Just maybe skip the small talk about your shaving routine, and for the love of all things warm, let’s get self-heating speculums into medical offices immediately.