Understanding Men and Their Mental Health

June was Men’s Mental Health Month and it was great to see much chat around men and their mental health. We need to talk about masculinity and mental health more a research indicates that men account for approximately 75% of deaths by suicide, though this statistic varies by country. 

Ali Ilyas, Clinical Psychologist at Connect Psychology helps us unpack the world of men and their mental health today on Raemona.

//Understanding the Problem 

Culturally, men and masculinity are often misunderstood. Traditional patriarchal norms can restrict men from expressing their feelings and engaging with mental health care.

To address this, we must challenge these restrictive notions compassionately, recognising that many men are hurting and need support, not blame. 

//Raising Emotionally Literate Boys 

If we want men to be emotionally literate the best place to start is to raise boys to be emotionally literate. Emotional literacy is our ability to understand and express our emotions and feelings. Raising emotionally literate boys involves nurturing their ability to recognise, understand, and express their emotions in healthy ways. The best way to do this is by modelling emotional literacy yourself—demonstrate how to talk about feelings openly and constructively. Encourage boys to express their emotions without judgment, ensuring they know it is okay to feel and show vulnerability. Use age-appropriate language to discuss emotions, helping them to identify and label what they are feeling.  

Incorporating activities that foster emotional expression, such as reading books about emotions, engaging in role-playing scenarios, and practicing mindfulness techniques can also be very helpful.  

Create a supportive environment where boys and children in general feel safe discussing their emotions requires the parents to have these skills themselves. We cannot model what we don’t have. If a parent struggles with emotional literacy, emotional regulation and communication they will naturally struggle to teach their kids these skills. In situations like this the best place to start is for parents to spend some time in therapy themselves, this is one of the best gifts they can give their kids, parents that know how to regulate.  

//Therapy and Men 

Therapy can be immensely beneficial, yet many men hesitate to seek it. Historically, therapy has been designed with a predominantly female caseload in mind, leading to the underrepresentation of men in therapeutic settings. While therapeutic principles helpful to women can also benefit men, those adhering to traditional masculinity may struggle with the idea of expressing their emotions openly. 

The British Psychological Society’s 20221 recommendations for practicing therapy with men underscore this issue. Developed by the male psychology section and the broader British Psychological Society, these recommendations suggest considering action-oriented and community approaches in addition to talking therapy. They highlight that a solution-oriented approach, which allows men to feel they can “fix the problem,” might be more effective than one focusing solely on emotional catharsis. 

Many psychotherapeutic options exist for men. The recommendation would be to find a therapist who can understand that there are differences in how gender impacts psychotherapy and how being male in specific might require a different kind of sensitivity for a different set of problems and challenges. Whatever type of therapy the therapist practices (for example, Psychoanalysis, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Internal Family Systems), as long as they are sensitive to these differences they can help support their male clients. 

//Barriers to Therapy 

Several barriers prevent men from seeking therapy. The perception of therapy as a space requiring emotional openness can be daunting for men raised with the idea that showing vulnerability is a weakness. This is compounded by societal expectations that men should be self-reliant and stoic. Furthermore, men might fear judgment from peers and family if they seek help for mental health issues. 

//Moving Forward 

On a societal level, we can help by fostering a compassionate dialogue about masculinity. When confronting problematic notions of masculinity, we should do so with empathy. Acknowledge the positive aspects of masculinity that men find helpful and engage with them on those terms. 

A practical step in our own lives is to ask the men we know how we can support them when they are struggling, rather than imagining how we may like to be supported in that state. Men might provide different responses than women to this question, offering insights into more effective ways to help. 

Encouraging men to seek help involves creating a supportive environment where they feel safe to express their struggles. Promoting mental health education that challenges stereotypes and highlights the importance of seeking help can also make a difference. Additionally, workplaces and communities can play a significant role by offering mental health resources and fostering a culture of openness. 

The reality is that when one gender suffers, everyone loses. Addressing men’s mental health issues requires collaboration and an appreciation of gender-specific needs. Reducing male suicide rates will take time and a shift from current approaches to more sensitive, gender-aware strategies. 

Walking the path to improved mental health for men will require patience and a willingness to engage with compassion. As the saying goes, “You can’t walk ten miles into a forest and get out in five.” Together, we can help guide the men we care about out of the forest of despair, with love and compassion. With time, we can hope to see significant changes and a reduction in the high levels of male suicides, but it will take collective effort and empathy. 

//Ali Ilyas, Clinical Psychologist, Connect Psychology

Ali@connectpsychology.ae  / +971501236170